I Believe In Fate....

It's been quite awhile since  I could say that. So much has happend in the past year, shaking my believes to the very core. Tearing apart everything that held me together. But now......oh now.....
 
Earlier this month I had a dream. It was about the certain someone I had been somewhat envolved with for a very short time, but known for years. What we had I felt was cut short, and why I write about him often here because he is still very much on my mind. So about this dream....it was set in high school and my mom's old house where I grew up (comfort zones). My special someone is making sly passes at me every time he walks by. Like grabing my hand briefly and running his hand across my sholders as if to take me in his arms but not stopping to do so.
 
I believe the main point of this dream was to confirm my doubts of if he still cares for me or not. The sly passes told me he does. So what does this have to do with fate? Well while talking about this dream with my mom in the car earlier this week (or was it last week? Not important.....), a song comes on the radio. The name of the song is "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down.  I've listened to this song quite a bit lately, because the words hold a lot of meaning to me right now and just fit the situation. The words are as follows:
 
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
And I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people don't even waite to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
It get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me
 
 
So yes I found it odd that this particular song, one I've been listening to for weeks while I've been thinking about him just "happend" to come on while talking about a DREAM no less I had about him. Coincedence maybe, I wasn't completely convinced and didn't fully believe in Fate just yet.
 
Then there was yesterday. I got an email from him in the morning just before I headed to Walmart. Nothing unusual, he emails me often. I emailed him back and ran off to lunch then to Walmart. Being one that is not fond of cell phones in public places, I left my phone in the car like I always do. After lunch I look and there's 2 missed calls with no number on the caller ID. Could it have been him? I'm thinking it was, but wasn't sure. I don't bother to find out because if it was I know he'll call back later. We get to Walmart and after a little while who should I see? Yup - it's him. I can't believe I've ran into him like this. He states he just tried to call me (and when I left I realise he tried to call a 3rd time just minutes after I had gotten out of the call and went into Walmart).  Now WHAT are the chances of THAT? Him trying to call 3 times missing me every time, then running into him in person. FATE.
 
Even still for the last few weeks I've been out of my mind trying to figure out WHAT is going through his mind, WHY he is still talking to me even though it was his decision for us not to be together right now (for reasons I understand). I over analysed it, because tonight I flat out asked what was going on. His response - he wants to be with me and has feelings, but doesn't know what to do with the situation he's in. He still wants to talk to me I think for that reason. Maybe for a "back up" or so that we don't get lost again - ok no problem I understand that. I may not waite, or I might decide to. Only time will tell. All I know for now I'm happy. Oh, and another twist of fate tonight right after I hung up the phone after talking to him, I turn on the radio and playing is song that we had been talking about. I had told him earlier this week it was a good song he needed to hear, and he mentioned to me yesterday he still hadn't heard it. Funny there it was on tonight right after I was done talking to him. FATE.
 
So there it is. I believe again. Now soul mates and true love, well that's going to take a bit of time still....
 
~Kara